How Donna Reed Became a ‘Second Mother’ to TV Daughter Shelley Fabares

If you grew up watching classic television, you probably remember The Donna Reed Show. And if you remember that show, then you also, without a doubt, remember Mary Stone. Played by Shelley Fabares, Mary seemed to have a pretty close-to-ideal American family life. However, behind the scenes, things weren’t always picture perfect.

When Fabares first joined the cast of The Donna Reed Show as a teenager, she was understandably intimidated. Reed was Hollywood royalty, and Fabares hung on her every word. Before long, that early case of stage fright turned into something much warmer. Reed took the young cast member under her wing, becoming a real mentor, a second mother, and a trusted friend. Fabares looked up to her so much that she spent years trying to emulate her grace and poise. Decades later, she would remark that whenever she faced a tough decision, she could still hear Reed’s voice in her head calmly offering up self-deprecating practical advice.

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Case in point, in 1988, Fabares related a story to Sioux City Journal reporter Bruce R. Miller, where in one particular episode of The Donna Reed Show, she was having difficulty learning how to do a specific tap dance. Even though she had danced professionally for several years, she simply could not put it all together when she was in front of the cameras.

She told Miller, “I felt very pressured and I was physically ill. I remember Donna watching me and finally she took me aside and said, ‘There are three things that I cannot do. One is sing, the other is dance, and the third is swim. In the opening three scenes of It’s a Wonderful Life I had to dance the jitterbug, fall backwards into a pool, and sing in the next scene walking home. Well, I decided that I was leaving the business. This was too much to ask of any human being. And then I realized, I was an actress … that was my job. I had to find the courage inside of me.'”

Fabares took those words to heart, made it through the episode, and walked away from that conversation with Reed, realizing that adults had fears, too. She told the journalist, “That piece of information was truly a gift.”

Throughout her life, when Fabares felt overwhelmed by the pressures of the industry and considered walking away from show business altogether, Reed was always there. She was a trusted friend who encouraged her to stick with it and carve out a path on her own terms.

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After Reed died in 1986, that loyalty never faded. Alongside her TV brother Paul Petersen, Fabares spent years making trips to Reed’s hometown of Denison, Iowa. She worked tirelessly to support the Donna Reed Festival and raise scholarship money for young performing arts students, keeping the movie and TV star’s memory alive for new generations.

During a 2024 episode of the That’s Classic podcast, hosted by John Cato, Fabares talked even more about her relationship with Reed.

“She was absolutely like my second mother. I idolized Donna. I just idolized her. She was how you would think she would be, if one had watched the show.”

And now, we just recently said goodbye to Fabares herself, who, throughout her life, never stopped carrying on Reed’s legacy, living her life with the same kind of grace and dignity until the very end. While she will be missed terribly, for those who still watch The Donna Reed Show from time to time, Mary Stone’s gentle smile is not going anywhere. Rest in peace, Ms. Fabares. You’ve made your TV mom very proud.