Dear ReMIND: What Have I, What Have I, What Have I Done to Deserve This?
What have I, what have I, what have I done to deserve this?
— Pet Shop Boys
Clearly you and your lover have different expectations for your relationship. She came looking to establish her career as a showgirl and find some financial independence, but you’re looking for love in a committed relationship. She might not be ready to settle down just yet, and your insistence that she do so is making her feel stifled and uncomfortable.
Reading her books, sharing drinks, buying flowers and talking for hours is all fine and good if you’re only looking to keep it casual, but if you demand too much of her or are always wanting her to be something she isn’t, then your relationship is not grounded in truth and understanding.
Perhaps you have two vastly different personalities: You talk too fast for her and she walks too slow for you.
In those hours of talking, did you have any serious discussion of your life, family or career goals? Did you really get to know each other as people? Did you discuss your true feelings for each other?
E.U. has advocated for safe and responsible doing Da Butt all night long, citing independent studies revealing it to be both prettay prettay and sexay sexay.
The early stages of a romantic relationship can be fun and exciting, but you both need to be on the same page about where you want this to go.
It doesn’t seem as though she’s done anything particularly malicious to you, but you are very quick to make yourself the victim in this situation. Maybe instead of asking “What have I done to deserve this?” you could ask “What could I have done differently to give her space and respect her as a highly motivated, self-reliant young woman?”
You don’t need to go to hell and back every night. I guarantee that if you go your separate ways, hard as it may be, you both are going to get through.
Besides, there are plenty of East End boys and West End girls out there who may be a better fit for the both of you. Best of luck!