Do You Remember These Wildly Dangerous Toys from the 1970s?
Ready, set, OW! Some ‘70s toys came with a certain amount of assumed risk, like chemistry sets or, heaven forbid, glass blowing kits. But many others were unexpectedly dangerous. The injuries kids experienced while playing with them weren’t serious … most of the time. Nothing a little Bactine couldn’t fix. The cuts, scrapes, abrasions, burns, and even noxious fume inhalation were all part of the cost of doing business.
The toy companies may claim all of it was due to user error, but that’s just covering their butts. Even when we played with these toys in the way their creators intended, they sure didn’t work like in the commercials.
They were part of the final era of toys that were truly dangerous, as the ‘80s saw many of these taken off the market or made less hazardous. A few managed to slip through, though, like Mattel’s Cabbage Patch Snacktime Kids, which were found to not only eat pretend food but, painfully, little fingers and hair (the dolls were subject to a 1997 CPSC recall).
How many of these ‘70s toys do you remember leaving a mark?
Lawn Darts
View this post on Instagram
Similar to a game of horseshoes, lawn darts involved throwing a spiked metal projectile with plastic wings at a fixed target on the ground (a white plastic ring). Unlike horseshoes, the opposing team wasn’t standing behind the target, so we often increased the distance between thrower and target.
A lawn dart needed to be thrown high in an arc, so that it would “turn over” and land point down. But the problem was, the harder it was thrown, the less accurate it was.
Another problem? A lawn dart was sharp enough to penetrate the ground — not to mention a tree, shingled roof, or, tragically, someone’s head. Lawn darts were banned in the U.S. in 1988, but since some old models could still be found in garages, basements and second-hand stores, the Consumer Product Safety Commission issued a 1997 statement in that declared “parents should destroy these banned lawn darts immediately.”
SSP Racers
SSP racers, released by Kenner in 1970, were like big Hot Wheels cars with a roller blade-type wheel in the middle. The car’s propulsion was activated by pulling the plastic “T-stick” rip cord through the gears attached to the gyro wheel. The faster you pulled, the faster it would go. And they were fast: Kenner ads claimed speeds of 400 scale MPH and above.
Insert T-stick, grab handle and…ouch!! You know that loose skin between your thumb and index finger? If you didn’t pull the T-stick straight up at a 90° degree angle, There Will Be Blood.
Slip ’N Slide
Slip ’N Slide, first introduced by Wham-O in 1961, became immensely popular in the ‘70s. It was a Big Bird-yellow summer slide that attached to a garden hose, creating a slippery surface for sliding down.
One of the dangers of this toy was linked to the age of the player. Older children and adults suffered back and neck injuries far more often than their younger, easy-gliding counterparts. Slipping on something unexpectedly is never fun; neither is thinking you’ll be sliding, and instead crunching to a dead stop due to your larger size.
Another hazard was tied to the things that could be found below the slide. Nothing ruins a high-speed summertime spritz faster than unexpectedly encountering a tree root or rock, which could create quite a raspberry.
Superelasticbubbleplastic
Introduced by Wham-O in 1970, Superelasticbubbleplastic was a chemical goo that came out of what looked like a toothpaste tube. When placed on the end of a straw, it allowed you to blow up your own colorful translucent balloon.
But ingredients like polyvinyl acetate, acetone, and ethyl acetate don’t sound much like toothpaste flavors. Removing the cap, you knew right away these fumes were stronger than Testors. Using this toy was about as safe as syphoning gas by sucking on a tube.
Exposure to poisonous chemicals wasn’t the only problem with this toy. In my failed experiments, one of three things happened. 1. Blow hole through glob. 2. Glob too big, face turns red. 3. Blow glob off end of straw like a pea shooter.
Socker Boppers
View this post on Instagram
Socker Boppers by Centsable Products were released around the time of the first Rocky film in 1976. After watching Rocky Balboa train and overcome incredible odds in the boxing ring, young boys were more than ready to satisfy their own aggression by engaging in some safe pugilism. But instead of boxing gloves, they used these self-inflated mitts resembling plastic seat cushions. (Girls liked them, too, but the bout often resulted in tears far before the end of the first round.)
The surprising danger lay in how each Socker Bopper was manufactured. There was a seam that ran the length of each glove. Normally, a Socker Bopper uppercut left you no worse for the wear, but when you caught a seam along the face — that left a scratch so nice, it may even require a cut man.
“More fun than a pillow fight”, the ads claimed. True, because catching a pillow case’s zipper across the chops was worse.
Water Rockets
View this post on Instagram
Mattel’s H20 Two Stage Missile with exploding warhead toy was released in 1958. Sound serious? With the Cuban Missile Crisis on the horizon, kids needed to be prepared. Its ‘70s descendant was the water rocket: hydro-propelled projectiles that could shoot 100 feet in the air from a hand-held launch pad. Add water, pump launcher, press release lever … blast off!
As water pressure built, the plunger would become more difficult to pump — but the greater the pressure, the higher the launch. Maybe you didn’t always pay attention in science class, but this kind of physics, you knew.
However, trying to squeeze in one last pump was usually a bad idea. As you’re wrestling with the pump, your technique goes to hell. No longer pointing the rocket straight up, it’s now at a 45° angle, aimed right at your unsuspecting friend. Sometimes, the water pressure was so great that the rocket released itself, creating a ground explosion and soaking the operator. Houston, we have a problem.
Moon Shoes
View this post on Instagram
Primitive even by ’70s standards, moon shoes had thick coils attached to a rigid sole. The springs were so thick, they could’ve been shocks for an El Camino. One scary-looking pair involved red and yellow hightop sneakers that looked like they belonged to Ronald McDonald. Imagine an overly joyous seven foot clown with white makeup, bouncing around, hysterically laughing, knocking over your birthday cake — truly the stuff of nightmares.
If you got away with only a sprained ankle, consider yourself lucky.
Clackers
Clackers may have been inspired by bolas, which were weapons used by Spanish and Portuguese warriors of the late 1800s. First released in the 1960s, kids quickly became addicted to the sound and speed of the toy, buying millions of them by the early ‘70s.
Coming up with a word that describes an actual sound can be a challenge, but “clackers” really nailed it. Two balls attached to a string, swinging up and down and hitting each other at a high rate of speed. What else could they be called?
Black eyes and bloody noses were common for both user and bystander. Plus, the balls could eventually shatter. Originally made of tempered glass, the ‘70s version was made of acrylic plastic for greater durability; it was found these could also shatter. The 1976 legal case United States v. Article Consisting of 50,000 Cardboard Boxes More or Less, Each Containing One Pair of Clacker Balls saw the federal government seize a shipment of clackers, on the ground that they were dangerous to children.
Slide-A-Boggan
View this post on Instagram
Released in 1977, Coleco’s Slide•A•Boggin was an 18″ x 36” piece of tightly coiled vinyl plastic used for winter sledding. We called them simply, “banana peels.” And for good reason — they were much faster than a traditional sled.
But unlike a Flexible Flyer, there was a complete inability to steer. Your only hope of slowing down was skidding the toes of your boots into the ground streaking beneath you. Just because the sledding path curved away from a busy street, didn’t mean you wouldn’t end up there.