A Look Back at Barry Diller’s Marriage to Diane Von Furstenberg
Barry Diller, the legendary entertainment executive who co-founded the FOX and USA Networks and pioneered the concept of the “movie of the week” while working at ABC in the ’60s, came out at as gay at the age of 83, in an excerpt from his new book, Who Knew. In the essay, published by New York Magazine today, Diller reflects on his famous marriage to fashion designer Diane Von Furstenberg, inventor of the wrap dress; the pair tied the knot in 2001.
Diller wrote of their relationship, “While there have been a good many men in my life, there has only ever been one woman … There are many complex aspects of my relationship with Diane von Fürstenberg: romantic love and deep respect, companionship and world adventuring, then disappointment and separation, and finally marriage. We met in 1974, separated in 1981, reunited in 1991, married in 2001, and have spent 50 years intertwined with each other in a unique and complete love.”
How did Barry Diller and Diane Von Furstenberg meet?
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Diller and Furstenberg first met in 1974, when Diller was a young executive at Paramount, and Furstenberg was still married to her first husband, Prince Egon von Fürstenberg. But the pair did not instantly hit it off; Diller remembered feeling like Von Furstenberg looked through him. So much so that, in 1975, he attempted to beg off an invitation to a dinner party at her home.
Diller was dating men at the time, but was not out as gay; he wrote that “fear of exposure still had a tyrannical hold on me, so much so that it stunted any chance of my having a fulfilling personal life.”
However, this time, when Diller spoke to Von Furstenberg, sparks flew — he described their chatting as like the scene in West Side Story, when the world melts away as Tony and Maria meet. Soon after, they went on a date, which led to kissing — Diller recalled that he was in his 30s at the time, and hadn’t made out with a woman since he was 16.
He and Von Furstenberg had an intense physical connection, and fell passionately in love. She was Diller’s first long-term romantic partner, of any gender: “I had never had a sustained relationship before this,” he wrote.
Why did they break up?
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Diller’s sexuality didn’t play a role in the pair’s initial break-up; rather, he wrote, they split in 1981 due to an affair that Von Furstenberg had with Richard Gere.
When did they decide to marry?
In their years apart, Diller wrote, “We’d both had relationships with others that didn’t come close to standing the test of time.” The pair reconnected in 1991, and married in 2001, with a surprise City Hall wedding.
While Diller has only just formally come out of the closet as gay, there has been public speculation about his sexuality and relationship with Von Furstenberg for years — specifically that the pair were simply friends who had chosen to get married. But, Diller wrote in his memoir, “We aren’t just friends. Plain and simple, it was an explosion of passion that kept up for years. And, yes, I also liked guys, but that was not a conflict with my love for Diane.”
What has Diane Von Furstenberg said about their marriage?
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The iconic designer told the New York Times in 2013 of the pair’s unusual arrangement, “This man has been my lover, my friend and he’s now my husband. I have been with him for 35 years. At times we were separated, at times we were only friends, at times we were lovers, at times we’re husband and wife, that’s our life.” She often posts picture of Diller and of the two together on her Instagram account.
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